I haven’t shared all that much about my personal life here on IB and you should know that’s less about wanting to be mysterious and more because my personal life is far less exciting than the shit I make up. Don’t get excited; that hasn’t changed. But I’ve been busy enough lately that I haven’t been able to post half as much as I’d like.
You see, aside from work these days, I’m in the process of applying to graduate schools (researching programs, creating writing samples, getting recommendation letters, etc.), cramming for the GRE, and also writing an extensive book report and a hefty term paper for a graduate class I’m taking. So if you hear from me only sparingly in the coming weeks, you’ll know why. I’ll have to put the Words of the Week on hold briefly. It’s dreadful. I miss all you beautiful people.
But, like I said, I have not forsaken you. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. This is horseshit, of course, because good deeds will get you into heaven and all good deeds start off as good intentions. (Suck it, Satan.) To prove my devotion to you, the following is a teaser of several of my own good intentions in the form of posts currently sitting in my “Drafts” folder:
- A post entitled “For the Love of Snoop Dogg”
- A surprisingly educational post about rip currents
- A new Sorry, Darwin post
- A stack of book posts
- Coming soon: “An Open Letter to Those Who Bedazzle Pumpkins.”
Stay tuned.
Also, since I’m sharing, for those of you who missed my musings on Twitter regarding my recent stay at the Ritz Carlton [1. Seriously, when I own a first class hotel, I'll call it the Ritz Cruz, and there will be a 1/4-lb slab of dark chocolate on every pillow. The crap we got wouldn't have satisfied a Lilliputian.]:
6:22–Checked in. #459 is about to be my lucky number.
6:29–First class my ass. The toilet doesn’t have a single diamond on it.
6:31–Ugh. The champagne in that bidet is totally flat.
7:30–I’ve been waiting like an hour for the men to come carry me to the dining room on one of those satin pillows. I’m going to be late.
7:42–Made my boyfriend do it.
8:14–Ordered the ambrosia at dinner and the server said they were all out. What a crock.
9:12–Chocolate cake almost made up for that.
10:48–Mattress is exceptionally firm. Sheets, not silk.
In the meantime, in the spirit of my last post, Farmville kills babies. (This is sadly not a joke.)
And in celebration of today’s holiday, here’s a link to the scariest fucking thing I’ve seen in a long time (it will haunt your dreams): It’s happening.
Happy Halloween, everyone. I’m off to take my Rottweiler-Pitbull mix, Daisy, for a walk in search of chicks dressed as Lady Gaga in the meat dress
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Sounds like you got a heavy load going on there. Nice time at the Ritz, eh?
I am up to my eyeballs in to-do lists, Chuck. It’s like I’m drowning which is ironic for obvious reasons but I’m not amused, just sleep-deprived and a little delirious.
The Ritz was…tolerable. Actually, it was free, so I was a little more pleased than I let on.
All your posts are great but my favorites are the “Sorry Darwin” posts. Even the title makes me smile. The robot is scary, but it was kind of funny that the Asian robot nurse looked decidedly…not Asian….? Oh well, pretty soon there will be no need to get married. We’ll all just get a robot. Once they perfect them, I mean. You know, with all the really sensitive controls and an ultra-detailed remote. And then only once they come down in price, which won’t be until Apple goes ahead and invents a real human baby that, while not human, can still be bought at the I-store as an 8 pound infant and raised through adulthood, making all the other robots obsolete. Wait. Where was I. Oh yeah, grad school. Do what you have to do and do it well. We’ll all still be here when you are done. Please let me know when your hotel opens.
Oh, Chicken. I heart you.
Okay, one of my FB friends posted a photo today of a guy called Sir Richard Bishop that is so eerily similar to your photo above, that I had to come and tell you because I’m a friggin’ dork like that. Here’s a link to a similar photo, but my friends photo was done in the same sepia like tones as yours. Wait. Is SRB someone Everyone knows except for me? And your photo is supposed to bring him to mind? Damn. I’m always the last person to know about every thing. sigh. http://www.sirrichardbishop.net/
Chicken, Chicken, Chicken. I’ve missed you.
That photo is hilarious. Mostly because, like you, I had never heard of this man and my (admittedly striking) resemblance to him in my header photo is entirely coincidental. That pic was the result of a photo shoot my sister and I did in my shower and me playing around on various photo editing software I didn’t really know how to use. It’s like that whole “room full of monkeys on computers spontaneously type the Magna Carta” sort of thing. A storm of idiotic pursuits apparently created a masterpiece. *sigh* I continue to amaze myself.
Thanks for sharing, Chicken, my love!