I once signed in to Facebook only to be visually accosted by a picture of a clump of something an acquaintance had removed from her cat’s asshole. [1. True story.] That sort of sums up how I feel about Facebook. Of course, the privacy issues are an abomination and also, I’d rather count the dust particles on my laptop screen (and then catalog them by color, texture, size, and taste) than plow a field on Farmville.
I randomly signed in to my account the other day and found I had a forwarded message in my inbox from a girl I swam with in high school (and haven’t seen or spoken to since). She was an incredible freestyler and could easily have gotten a scholarship to swim for almost any university in the country. It appears that instead, she smokes several packs a day, drinks excessively, cares for her infant son, and spends an inordinate amount of time on Facebook. (Carpe diem.)
Anyway, this was the message:
Okay ladies, here is another game, like the bra color game which was a total success and we had men wondering for days what was with the colors and it made it to the news. Well, this game has to do with your handbag, where we put our handbag the moment we get home…for example “I like it on the couch”, “I like it on the kitchen counter”, “I like it on the dresser”, well you get the idea. Just put your answer as your status with nothing more than that and cut n paste this message and forward to all your FB female friends to their inbox. The bra game made it to the news. Lets see how powerful we women really are!!!!! REMEMBER DO NOT PUT YOUR ANSWER AS A REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, SIMPLY PUT YOUR ANSWER AS YOUR STATUS, THEN FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO YOUR FRIENDS
Temporarily blinded by the run-on sentences and exclamation mark/Caps-Lock abuse, I had to read it twice. I honestly thought it was a joke. But I should’ve known better.
Evidently, the age of technology has brought feminism to staggering new heights. I was not privy to “the bra color game” which apparently threw men everywhere into a blinding fog and left the poor darlings bewildered and in general turmoil. But perhaps posting thinly-veiled sexual innuendo about our accessories on a social media site really will to bring the hateful patriarchy to its knees.
The original author of this “crossyourheartandhopetodie you won’t tell the boys!” message, no doubt updating her status hourly from her bedazzled Blackberry, seems to think it’ll go something like this:
And yet I can’t shake the suspicion that it’s bound to go something a little more like this: