[New? Check out the Word of the Week Intro here.]

Last week’s WoW was pretty good, I must say.  Chicken brought us “fuckity fuck,” and Rafe brought us “fuckmuppetry,” both poetic interpretations of the original.  But I might have to throw the win to Alexa who offered simply “fuck me,” because who can turn that down, right?

Nice job, folks. I like it.

This week’s word is brannigan, pronounced “BRAN-i-guhn,” much like it appears.  It’s a noun, and it means either:

1. a carouse, squabble or brawl
or
2. a drinking spree or binge.

So yeah, I suspect it’s no coincidence that this word sounds like a pale, freckle-faced, red-headed Irish bartender with a pipe in one hand and a Guinness in the other.  At least, that’s what I think of when I see it.

The following little story, told in a series of Limericks (fittingly, Limericks were believed to have originated with early Irish poets and were named after the county of Limerick in Ireland) may help elucidate:

There was once a leprechaun called Flannigan,
Who was perpetually up to shenanigans.
Very sensitive about his size,
With his diminutive allies,
He defended his honor in nightly brannigans.

When Flan met a hulk named Rolf,
He reacted with a derisive scoff.
“You play basketball?” sneered Flan,
In the shadow of the man,
Who replied, “No. Do you play mini golf?”

Wee Flannigan and his friends turned red,
From their toes to their pin-sized heads.
They put up their dukes,
And shouted rebukes,
And went to war on poor Rolf’s Keds.

Rolf looked on at the onslaught amused,
Until his toes began to bruise.
So as an offering of peace,
And in lieu of police,
He offered the men some booze.

And soon their bitterness was dashed,
As the men caroused with Rolf unabashed.
For when he placed that pint on the floor,
He’d instantly mended rapport,
And together they all became happily smashed.

That should do it for brannigan (I like happy endings and getting “happily smashed” is the way to go out). If you missed it last week, check out my “Ode to Beer.”

If you haven’t yet noticed, postings here on IB have been consistently random from the start.  Aside from the weekly WoW, other goods vary from poetry to profound animated cinematography to various forms of satirical musings.  That kind of thing will continue.  But I also have a few new items in the works, one in particular for which I’d like some input from you all.  Stay tuned!

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[New? Check out the Word of the Week Intro here.]

Happy Tuesday, people. As you may have figured out from the comments section of last week’s WoW, Rafe won again. (Shout out to my friend @yosemity_phil for giving it some last-minute love on Twitter today.) Rafe is good, I’ve got to hand it to him. You can check out the award-winning comment here. In case anyone is feeling intimidated, don’t worry. He’s a cupcake once you get to know him. Having said that, somebody please beat him.

This week’s word is hardly esoteric, but that’s okay. It came up a few times today so I thought I’d go for it; not all good things in this world need be enigmatic. If the past several WoWs were caviar, this one’s more like a fish sandwich. Enjoy.

Ogle.

It can be used as either a noun or a verb, so it’s good and versatile.

As a bonus, I’ve encountered several people who don’t believe ogle is a real word…and that’s always fun.

Definitions as follows:

• As a verb (used with or without an object): a) to look at amorously, flirtatiously, or impertinently, or b) to eye; look or stare at.

• As a noun: an amorous, flirtatious, or impertinent glance or stare.

It’s pretty simple, really.

Everyone here with functioning organs has either ogled or been ogled, and likely a lot of both. When you hear (or make) the excuse “Hey, there’s no harm in looking!” there’s likely some ogling going on. Give or receive the universal “heeeyyyy” or “once over” look? Ogle.

A friend used ogle in a speech this afternoon. She was describing a scene at her sister’s wedding where she, her sister, and a couple other members of the wedding party being whisked to the beachside ceremony on a golf cart. The driver of the cart was a little lost and smashed the brake suddenly, sending the bride flying off her seat and onto the ground. The rear wheel tore a hole through the train of her dress big enough to fit a poodle through and left a giant skid mark to boot. Apparently, the other girls all stopped to ogle her and laugh before finally helping her up.

(Though ogle is most commonly used to describe a flirtatious or suggestive type of look, it can also mean just a regular old stare, which is how it was used here. Obviously, people.)

When I first saw ogle in print in a book as a child, I assumed it was pronounced “oogle.” Somehow, that’s just what made sense to my 12-year-old brain. Subsequently, I must have avoided hearing it said aloud or saying it myself because that’s how it became seared into my head until a couple of years ago when I pronounced it aloud and someone corrected me. I was sure I was right. Positive. But alas not. And I have to admit, I was a little (okay, a lot) disappointed.

The true pronunciation is: “oh-guhl” (rhymes with “mogul”) which, though it has the benefit of being correct, doesn’t sound half as cool. (When I get enough people interested, I’d like to petition the necessary parties to get an alternate pronunciation–and associated spelling, perhaps–accepted into the vernacular so we can all “oogle” for real.)

Anyway, unfortunately, I can’t ogle you people through the internet, so I’m going to let the Boss Dogg himself, Snoop D-o-double-g demonstrate the art. He is a professional after all.

Due to copyright restrictions, I wasn’t able to embed the pretty version, but I invite you to take it in here. There’s a lot of ogling in this music video. And for very good reason. Sit back, relax, and ogle.

…and if that wasn’t enough for you, there’s always this:

There once was a girl named Jane,

Who was sadly very plain.

She was smart as could be,

But alas she would see,

That men couldn’t ogle her brain.

♦

I hoped you all enjoyed my foray into cinematography last week. I have another epic film up my sleeve this week so you can all anxiously await its unveiling.

That’ll be all for now. Ogle, folks. Be creative; I know this has applications aside from those that make your naughty bits tingle. Let’s hear it.

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[New? Check out the Word of the Week Intro here.]

You may have noticed there was no Word of the Week update last week. As a result, I have this image of all of you spending all weekend mute, desperately wanting to speak, eyes bulging in frustration, but unable to vocalize anything except last week’s feracious. I’m so sorry, guys. That must’ve been rough.

When I began this endeavor, I’d intended to post a word every Tuesday, but I’ve since allowed my postings to slip later and later into the week so that in order to get back on track I’d have to sell a word short and that just wouldn’t be right. This is me setting things straight.

Speaking of feracious, Rafe won again. Instead of elaborating upon the official word though, he apparently took it in, chewed it up, spit it out, and came up with “fecund,” a synonym for feracious. Luckily for him, I love that word too:

Your mystery shopper will, in the fullness of time, provide a particularly fecund ground for soil nutrients, and from the sounds of his shopping habits, that is going to happen sooner, rather than later.

Somebody please beat Rafe this week. He’s bound to let all this winning get to his head.

So, back to business: subfusc.

I like this word mostly because it looks and sounds oddly sexy. The accent is on the second syllable (which is pronounced like “fuck” with an “s” tossed in), and the whole thing goes something like this: sub-FUHSK. [See also: subfuscous. It means the same thing but it's not as easy to spit out five times fast.]

Subfusc is an adjective and it describes something dark, dull, drab, or somber in appearance/color.

I find it’s often used to describe clothing. The crowd at a funeral would likely qualify, unless it was my funeral in which case guests would already be familiar with the stipulations against subfusc clothing and sadness. They’d also likely be drunk, perhaps on one particular brand of subfusc liquid that, as one of my favorites, would be provided in abundance: dark beer. One in particular called “Black Duke” that I imbibe at a local microbrewery tastes something like dark chocolate with a touch of coffee and a dollop of black magic and ninja sweat. It’s delicious.

Though I’m certain subfusc could be put to some especially poetic uses (besides profound descriptions of beer), I can’t help but think it would make a terrific name for an emo store. (Let’s hear it for subfusc skinny jeans, eh?)

I can just see it now.

It would be in the mall somewhere, and the entrance is covered with an enormous black velvet curtain for maximum mysteriousness. Once inside, the only light comes from a few glow sticks strewn about and the dank atmosphere is saturated with noise from one of the featured albums on display, perhaps “Waterfalls of Pain,” “Rivers of Agony,” “Angst and the Angstys,” or “AAARRRGGGH.”

It’s the kind of place where you can fulfill all of your darkest emo desires: black journals to keep a daily record of your anguish, any item of clothing in any shade of mildew you could imagine, and a wide selection of razor blades for when the wretchedness of life gets to be too much.

With each purchase, the cashier slices your wrist and after your 10th slash, you receive 10% off your next purchase. Just a little something to make existing bearable for another day.

Behind that curtain in the corner is an Emo Dance Dance Revolution, where all you do is stand still on the platform while the music plays. Bonus points for awful posture. To win, however, you must shed a single tear.

Welcome to Subfusc.

So, now that I’ve imprinted this awful image in your minds, you may feel like I do after hearing a Ke$ha song (profoundly unclean), but if you’ve added subfusc to your repertoire in the process, then my work here is done.

That’ll be all for subfusc, folks. Do it up. WoW is now back to regular scheduling on Tuesdays, but stay tuned later this week for more goodness.

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